It doesn't have to take threats, nagging, bribes or one minute reminders to get our kids to complete their tasks and to follow through on their promises and responsibilities.
Many parents can see that "because I said so, I'm the Mom ", just doesn't work!
So how can we encourage our children to cooperate, without losing our cool?
Here are 3 tried and tested tips that keep parents and children feeling heard and respected while making living together so much more enjoyable.
1."When…Then…" "When you've cleaned your room, then you can go out to your friend." "When you've cleaned the fish tank, then you can play on the computer." Say this in a calm voice and ignore all the moaning that may initially come with this. Soon enough they'll begin to complete their responsibilities in a more timely way.
2.Cut the sarcasm and clarify your requests. No-one feels empowered by having to guess what another person needs. If you'd like help with a task ask for it clearly. "We'll be able to start our trip sooner if you could begin putting the bags in the car." "Anything you can do to help us get ready for the party will be great." Kids who feel their contribution is appreciated will be much more likely to cooperate and help out in the future.
1."What's your plan to…?" Instead of stressing and nagging the night before a homework project is due, ask "What's your plan for getting your book report completed by the due date?" This helps them learn to take responsibility and to come up with a plan of action. Also by telling you their plan, they can be more accountable for their own actions.
Cooperation will be more forthcoming when you express yourself in clearer terms. Try out these tips and the chances are you and your kids will enjoy each other more and everyone will be much happier. You won't remember the last time you said:" Because I said so, I'm the Mom!
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