Together we can heal in our relationships. We find somebody, we fall in love. Boom we feel amazing! We're really feeling that this perfect person is going to complete us. This person is going to soothe what needs soothing and heal what needs healing. I am going to get from this person what I didn't get as a child. That's what falling in love means....
Bev's Blog
Some couples approach therapy hoping that the therapist will fix their "problematic" partner. Once the partner gets it and changes, all the relationship problems will be solved. Yeah right! Here's the deal! You can't change your partner and your partner can't change you. You can, however, influence each other. Becoming a kinder and more loving part...
Whenever you are face to face with a partner who is in a state of upset and hurt, you have one goal, which is to help them come back into harmony with you. Back into closeness. Even in the heat of the moment, remember that the person you're speaking to is someone you care about. And the reason you're speaking is to make things better. The subtext u...
How do we heal, grow, and thrive as people? I firmly believe it is in relationship. We are wired for connection. Who we are is shaped by our relationships. This means that when it comes to thriving and developing in a healthy and vigorous way, the quality of our relationships matters. All Smiles! Ed Tronick observed that our culture idealizes harmo...
Why is it so painfully difficult for people who love each other to give their partner what they want and in return get their needs met too? What behaviors sabotage and derail our good intentions? Real intimacy requires a constant journey from disruption to repair. According to Terry Real, master couple and family therapist, and author of the ...
Beverly Joy Ehrlich is a Relationship Coach. She lives in Israel with her husband, their children, and grandchildren. Beverly and her husband moved to Israel from Cape town, South Africa a year after getting married, almost 40 years ago. Beverly loves the outdoors in Israel. She has participated in a 4 km charity swim in Lake Kinneret, has hiked pa...
Let me ask you something. Have you ever felt like you don't recognize your behavior or you can't believe what you just said? Sound familiar? You start to say something that really isn't the best thing to say at that moment. In fact, it's really going to get you into trouble. It's definitely not going to get you closer to the person you're speaking ...
Do you feel like you and your partner keep repeating the same behaviors and you just can't shift things? Your relationship doesn't have to be a constant struggle or a complete disconnect. Intimate relationships aren't only about falling in love, they're about how to stay in love long-term. The problem is that when our partner triggers us, our skill...
"I am so shocked and my feelings so hurt that you would even think that of me!" If you're boundaryless and thin-skinned, you take in everything that's said to you. In a healthy relationship, you understand that other people think whatever they think about you. If it's not true, it's not true. It goes splat on the outside of your boundary; you don't...
One of the most powerful tools in the relational arsenal is a map of how to think of yourself as well as your partner in your ongoing minute-to-minute current relationship. Healthy Self-Esteem Self-esteem means that I hold myself in esteem. I recognize my intrinsic value as a human being. Within the circle of health, I have a warm regard for myself...
Have you ever questioned whether the person you're in love with is capable of making you happy? Well, how is that working out for you? The marriage we want is like the body we want-flawless!! Relationships are not perfect! Real relationships are the collision of your partner's imperfections with your flaws. How you manage that, is key to your healt...
Two couples are sitting in a coffee shop. The one couple turns to the other and says, "I hear you're working on your relationship. Are you doing the work by yourselves or is someone doing it for you?" We're always told to work on our relationships. What exactly does that mean? Foe or Ally? In 2019 my parents were both dying and my husband was depre...
In my WiSh (Wisdom Share) series with Patricia Brooks, she shared with us two catalysts for building courage. Get into action and shift your perception When you see yourself differently, you start to behave differently and create new habits. Patricia suggests you set a meaningful goal based on your core beliefs. In other words, turn your "I should ...
"Our bodies have so much to tell us. Are we listening in order to allow our dreams to manifest?" This is one of the biggest lessons that Tansy Rodgers has learned while on her journey to making her dreams come true. We grow and expand at the edge of our comfort zone. That needs a strong mental state together with a healthy body. You might wan...
In one of our sessions together, S. asked me if she should do something she's passionate about or something she's just good at. I believe it can be both and. The magic happens when you figure out a way to align your purpose, your passions and your talents. My purpose is to inspire people to create positive and healthy relationships. My core p...
Clutter can impact the depth of your relationships. It's harder to be present, stay attentive and interpret feelings when your visual surroundings are filled with random stimuli. "Chaos and overwhelm. Everything around me is just too much." These are words Lisa hears all too often from her stressed and confused clients. Lisa helps her clients...
Compassionate listening validates the other person and acknowledges their pain. Respect that the pain that your friend/client is experiencing is real to them, even if you don't understand it or it seems inconsequential to you. You don't need to understand the experience, but you can feel… Hold the feeling of being non-judgmental even if you d...
I'm excited to share a really powerful conversation I had with Ralph Brogden about "building the business you want so that you can live the life you want." I think this message is as relevant now as it was when we spoke over a year ago. Ralph expresses himself so clearly and obviously walks his talk when it comes to his teachings. He is a mas...
"An outstanding love doesn't come from two half-fulfilled people coming together to make one whole, complete life. Outstanding love comes from two whole people coming together to share and enhance their already full and beautiful lives." ~Pia Scade My client L recognized that it can be difficult to be in a relationship without self-love. Often the ...
Creating the life you want to live is a journey, an adventure, and completely possible. Take action to create a beautiful life aligned with your true self. Stacie Walker put it to me so beautifully, "You don't only have to do it one way. It must match your vision, your mission and your personality. It must feel good for you." When you're aligned wi...